Gays in diapers
Q: I want to true you on something you’ve said repeatedly: a dude can “hide” his bisexual person orientation. I disagree. I felt my boyfriend was gay or bi immediately, but he flatly denied it. But it was so obvious! He sucked at sex, he never initiated, and he was clueless about female anatomy! I was forced to hunt for proof, which I discovered after nine months. Then I mercilessly outed him to friends, humiliated him to his face, and finally confronted him with the proof of his profile on a gay hookup app. I enjoyed every wicked minute exposing his lies and telling everyone the truth because he used and exploited me in a fake relationship. I was wrong about a couple of things. First, I thought if I asked him if he was gay, he would confess and come sterile with me. Wrong, he never did. Second, if he was gay, he wouldn’t hide that reality because gays won the LGBT rights fight. False. I am a fag hag but only because I like feeling better and enjoy what I get out of my friendships with gay men. But I’m not interested in fruit juice. —Furious And Vengeful Ex
A: You are a terrible person, I don’t want you reading my column, and I hope your lgbtq+ friends come to se
In my younger years I used to put on a few over sized union suits and stuff them with anything to make bulk.
Before I loaded the suits I had my ankles tied, then when I closed the last button I would tie my hands, then slip into a tight space and get stuck.
I loved the thought of being caught fancy that, never was, but it was great.
Q: I’ve been dating a gentle guy for a month or so. Sex is fine, and we’re fairly compatible in other ways too. He told me he likes to wear diapers. He said he doesn’t need me to act it with him, but that every once in a while he likes to wear them because it makes him feel “safe.” He said that this odd deed isn’t sexual for him, but I have trouble believing him. I’m not sure how I feel about this. He also said that it embarrasses him and he wishes it wasn’t something he needed. If you hold any insight into what to inquire him or how to make sure I can hold him satisfied sexually as we transfer forward (if we do), it would be appreciated. —Do I Ask Pooper Everything Respectfully, Sir?
A: You shouldn’t assume (contra your sign-off) that Potential New Boyfriend (PNB) is pooping his diapers. Most guys who are ABDL (adult baby/diaper lover) are interested only in wetting themselves, if that. (Some only wear, never fill.) It sounds like PNB is struggling with kink and/or sex shame, DIAPERS, and the assumption you’ve made about the extent of his diaper play might lay him on the defensive. Even if your assumption is accurate,
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JF: Your fascinating article brings to mind Sara Ahmed’s (2006, 107) description of “queer orientations” as “those that don’t line up, which by seeing the world ‘slantwise’ grant other objects to come into view.” What “other objects” came into view over the course of your ethnographic work in Kenya?
GPM: I should mention that this article is part of a larger book project that takes various “queer objects” as alternative points of departure for understanding the historical reconfiguration of intimate citizenship. In particular, I am interested in thinking of new ways to historicize anti-homosexual violence, while troubling racist liberal ideologies of an “African homophobia.” During my research, I noticed something quite striking: that, despite the global proliferation of homophobia as a tactic of ethno-nationalist governance, among other things, the “homosexual threat” that its rhetoric so saliently invokes is often very difficult to pin down or identify in everyday animation. And so, to make the homosexual body a more steady target of outrage and aggression in the collective imagination, leaders, media, civil society groups, and citizens often